It's English Time

Our tribute to the Flight of the Conchords' "Business Time," though instead of being all about makin' love, our version is all about the hilarity that is teaching English in Japan. Enjoy!

Lyrics by my friend Ed and me, with a miniscule amount of help from Melissa



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uhh....Oh yeah.

Kids, today we're gonna speak English. You know how I know? Because it's third period and third period is the time that we usually speak English.

First period is the time that you put your head down on the desk and sleep all the way through your math class,
but third period is the time that we're speakin' English.

When everything is just right, you're not too tired from your mandatory, 3-hour long after-school club activity,
there's no school-wide earthquake safety survival drill, mmm, conditions are perfect for speakin' English.

You turn to me and say somethin' but I don't understand, like "What do you like sports?" I know what you're tryin' to say, you're tryin' to say, oooh yeah, it's English time, it's English time.

Chorus -
It's English, it's English time,
I don't know what you're tryin' to say, but you're tryin' hard to say it, so it's English time, ooooh!

It's English, it's English time,
Oh ohhhhhhh, yeah yeahhhh

Next thing you know we're in the classroom, reviewin' the vocabulary, that's all part of it, that's preparation. Preparation is very important. In English speakin'.

Then you get out your gigantic oversize mirror and pluck your eyebrows. That's not part of the preparation, but it's still very important.

Next thing you know the bell's rung. You're still wearin' your pants around your knees as though you're a gangster but you're really from a small rural mountain town with only 1 traffic light. Ooooh, small rural mountain town in the mountains! (oooh 1 traffic light is all you need)

I take out my flashcards, but then drop them all over the floor 'cuz I laminated them and they're all slippery, but it's okay because I make it into a funny gaijin joke.

Next we turn to page 273 in the school-approved textbook, the lesson heading is "Which subway line do I take?"
How should I know, I always drive.

It's English, it's English time.
I know that the textbook sucks but you all gotta read it so it's your bad luck, ooooh!

It's English, it's English time.
Oh ohhhhhhh, yeah yeahhhh

Speakin' English.
Speaking English for.
Speaking English for two.
Speaking English for two seconds.

When it's with a native speaker, you only need 2 seconds cuz we're so intimidating. 2 seconds of English is better than no seconds of English....mmmmm

You turn to me and say somethin' in Japanese, like "Wakaran." I know what you're tryin' to say, you're tryin' to say "ooohhh yeah, I love English".

Then you tell me that you want some more. Well, er, I'm not surprised, but I have already taught 2 classes today.

It's English time, it's English time.
Second hand ticks over and I'm outta here, baaaaby!"

It's English, it's English time.